ha! and shoes

this is a post about nothing except the fact that my family and i had a conversation about libraries on sunday [hooray for olivia's first library card! watching and listening to kids as they learn to read is magical.] in which it was revealed that my sister does not like them; they are, as she so hilariously put it, "like nursing homes for books."

quite awesome, really, when you think about it.

also: today's shoes are an old favorite. and wow, am i pale.
summer cannot arrive soon enough.

the funny men are on top of things

for the second day in a row, a funny man has made a very clear [and witty] argument with regard to the election. such a strong, concise reasoning. i love this. i want to have coffee and make lists and talk about 'magical thinking' with john hodgman.

the excerpt [from the a.v. club]:

McCain had a reality-based argument for why he should be President. It did not rely on magical thinking in any way. It was simply that Barack Obama was too young and inexperienced to be President and McCain is old enough, certainly, and experienced enough to be President. You may not agree, but that's what we need. You may not like McCain, but that's reasonable. That makes sense. In choosing Sarah Palin for whatever benefit you might get from it politically, he's throwing out his whole argument about experience. He negated his only reasonable argument to make and instead put him on what we now see is a disastrous path—potentially disastrous, at least, of pure magical thinking. That is I think exactly what people are tired of with regard to the Bush Administration. This idea that the Bush Administration… That if I say black is white, then that makes it so. If I say Sarah Palin is tried, tested, and ready to take the national stage and is going to save my campaign on the sheer energy of her enthusiasm and rhetoric, then it will happen, but not really.

[the full piece]

YES

from a recent david sedaris piece in the new yorker regarding the election [thanks to my co-worker john for pointing it out to me]:

To put them in perspective, I think of being on
an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. “Can I interest you in the chicken?” she
asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?”

To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.

[the complete piece]

matt damon: &*%$^# yeah!

for those of you who don't already know this: i heart matt damon.
a few years back [before he was married, i'll have you know] i harbored a deep, meaningful celebrity crush on him, to the point of near delusion [not really, but close.] i went to new york for my birthday with some friends, and to visit my sister who was living downstate at the time, and woke up on my birthday to see that matt damon was in new york, appearing on regis & kelly that very morning. coincidence? i thought not. also: i am silly.

anyway. as i find it gross to lust after married people, celebrities included, my outright affection for matt damon has waned in recent years.

but the following video does make my heart tingle a wee bit:

because i'm 12

i haven't seen m. night's latest movie, but from the reviews i've read [both online and in print] i'm severely disappointed that no one has yet to use [that i can find] the headline, "the crappening."

hee.

morning email

from: jennifer
to: me
subject: rhyming
--------------------

according to YOUR niece, pitting rhymes w/ SHITTING

ha.

an email from my hilarious friend dennis.

i wanted to feature a new item in the cafe today.
mix our [elliott's] fruit juices with wegman's fizzywater.
advertise them as 'elliott's sprizters' - onlyavailable until monday.

[d]

---
[insert extreme idiot laugh from me, followed by explanation to officemate kate so as to prove i haven't finally lost my mind.]

long-lost friends

the phone calls just keep getting better.

noodle: jojo?!
jojo: hi, noodle! how are you?
n: jojo? it's me! olivia! you know me, right?

wardrobe consultation

my niece [who is almost four] called me at work the other day and we had the following dialogue.

o: um...jojo. you're wearing the shoes i want to wear?
j: um...noodle. i'm wearing the pink shoes with the sparkly bow. what shoes are you looking for?
o: the black pointy ones...
j: with the bow?
o: [scuffles, hands phone to my mom]
[o: i don't know. you tell her!]
m: if there was ever any doubt that this child is yours...
j: i think those shoes are next to the hamper.
m: she's settled on the polka-dot ones for now.

life does not get any better than this, folks.

sound bites: religious edition

overheard in church this morning:

"what are you doing?!? shut up and pray."
(loudly whispered from grandmother to her two young grandsons)

(yo!)

there's a guy outside on the street (four stories) below my office window having the following conversation (loudly) with himself:

guy: YO!
(pause)
guy: YO! YO! YO! YO!
(pause)
guy: YOOOOOOOOO?
(pause)
guy: YO! YO? YO? YO! YO!
(pause)
guy: YO?

heh.

all i need are some greek letters and an ego.

drinking beer, making pancakes and watching basketball.
when did i become a frat guy?

march madness, baby.

i love march madness. love it. love. it. there's a scene from annie hall that has woody allen saying, "love is too weak a word. i lerve you. you know, i lo-ove you. i luff you. there are two "f's." i have to invent... of course i love you." that's exactly how i feel about college basketball and, more specificaly, march madness. there is something so pure, so passionate, so real about the sport. i'd rather watch a college basketball game that do almost anything else. as i type this i'm watching the second of two semifinal games in this year's tournament (ohio state -- the team i picked in my bracket to win it all -- won earlier today. hee.) and i can scarcely contain my glee. i don't even really care who wins this game, and i'm still paralyzed by the action on the tv.

when i was in high school (the waning years of my athletic self) i always dreamed of playing basketball for duke; but not on the women's team. i wanted to play for mike krzyzewski. point guards for duke were idyllic. it was the dream position on the dream team. and i was an indiana fan, so it took a lot for me to want to play for duke. i went to the opening round of the tournament this year, during which i saw the now-infamous duke vs. vcu match, which duke subsequently lost. the loss was disappointing, no doubt, but seeing coach k. in person, on the floor, talking to his boys was beyond exciting. is that vaguely crazy? possibly. we were up in the third tier where the air is thinner... but still. swooning.

why do i love college basketball? it's hard to summarize, but among the reasons: i love the defense. i love the offense. i love the freshman point guard and center who can read each other like a book after having played together in high school. i love the players who are 5'6" and the players who are 6'6". i love the alley-oop, in a forum where it's still thrilling. i love the mistakes and i love the hustle to correct them. i love the lack of names on backs of jerseys. i love watching a point guard take it to the hole. i love three pointers. i love how famous and important alumni come out to support their teams. i love that coaches are more like parents and less like glorified towel boys. i love the respect and i love the commitment. i love the unadulterated joy after a win, and the agony after a defeat.

it. is. beautiful.
go buckeyes.