the fifth of my twelve new year's resolutions was to go on a date before the beginning of february. this (kind of) happened, but the process was so awkward and annoying that i've decided new year's resolution #13 shall be to enter into hermitude. in honor of resolution #13, the following mini-list details why i should not date. at least for now.
- i went on what i thought was a date, with someone who did not think we were on a date. possibly twice.
- the date prior to that was with a guy who kept referring to me as 'dude' - clearly an expectation i would never be able to meet.
- i recently received an email from an ex-boyfriend, whom i have not seen/spoken to in 5 years, detailing his seemingly perfect life with more exclamation points than usweekly. it makes me sad to think that i've dated someone with such poor attention to punctuation. my taste is questionable at best.
- i did something in the not-so-distant past that i cannot mention for discretionary reasons. but, suffice it to say, my dating privileges should be revoked until further notice.
- i used to go to this nearby cafe nearly everyday for lunch. a barista asked for my number at one point. he called. i never called him back. i saw him a few weeks after that. i told him that i had been extraordinarily busy (truth) and that he should call again. he did. i never called him back (i = asshole.) i had to stop going to that cafe for fear of seeing him. cut to 5 months after that: i stopped into a random deli one afternoon for lunch. guess who was working there. at that point, my dating kharma gave me a hearty bitch slap. i'm still recovering.
- i once broke up with someone in a greeting card. accidentally.
- and i once dated someone for 2 1/2 years (primarily) out of boredom. tragic.
so. happy valentine's day, hermits one and all.
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