all of those good vibes went out the window on sunday night when i lost my keys somewhere between my car -- which was parked at the foot of the driveway -- and my kitchen.
jennifer and i had just returned from shopping, picking up some odds and ends for christmas. as i put the car into park, i clipped my car keys onto my key hook. we unloaded our bags from the trunk of the foci, put her bags in her car -- parked directly in front of mine in the driveway -- locked my car with my remote, and trudged through the snow into the house to unload the rest. upon entering the kitchen, i stood in the same spot for the next ten minutes so as not to track snow into the house - moving only to unhook my nephew from his highchair. i went out to start my sister's car as she bundled up the bebes. we then took them out and put them in the car, and i went to start my car in order to change places with them as they left. problem: no car keys on key hook. the following events happened over the next 12 hours:
- i searched the surrounding outside area for dropped keys
- i searched the path from my car into the house for dropped keys
- i searched the kitchen for the dropped keys
- we searched the bags of recently purchased wares
- we searched pockets
- we searched the basket where the keys are kept
- i may or may not have cried
- i may or may not have threatened to move to a city that relies on mass transportation
- my brother-in-law was enlisted to drive his car over, to transplant the car seats, and to take the family home, as their car was blocked
- my niece became excited as she thought this meant there would be a sleepover [next time, o, i promise]
- AAA was called
- a very frustrating, and ultimately worthless, phone call with the operator ensued
- i may or may not have downed a glass of wine, even though i was warned that drinking while upset would lead me to become an alcoholic
- i may or may not have eaten three large cubes of cheese
- three hours later, the tow truck showed -- confused by my inability to unlock the car [see: worthless phone call with AAA operator]
- cookies were given to tow truck operator for not acknowledging the absurdity of the situation, and for not being an a-hole as it was below freezing that evening
- car was successfully towed to mechanic
- thinking that my keys were at the dealership, i called and left a rambling, semi-coherent message on their answering machine
- went to bed
- woke up around six-thirty
- called dealership, gave a rambling and semi-coherent account of the situation to the service department
- was told they don't unlock personnel files for another two hours
- had an EPIPHANY!
- thought: when did i last see my spare key?
- thought: in montreal, this summer
- thought: what purse did i bring with me to montreal?
- went to closet, found orange polka-dot tote bag
- found spare key in pocket
- i may or may not have felt like a moron
- called dealership, explained resolution to absurd situation
- called sister, explained resolution to absurd situation
- went to mechanic, explained resolution to absurd situation
- told him that an unidentified car found in the lot on a given morning probably belonged to me
- went to work, explained resolution to absurd situation
No comments:
Post a Comment