caffeination, under god.

i took a quick inventory of items that are currently sitting on or around my desk, and the results are mildly puzzling...in that i'm not certain how many of said items came to rest in my possession. i've decided to give up coffee/caffeine for lent, so this in fact may be a hallucination, due to the heavy withdrawal symptoms i'm experiencing. seriously. no caffeine makes you feel like crap. and look like crap, as i've noticed during my infrequent pausings at a mirror.

my teeth itch. and i find myself squinting alot, probably because i'm on the verge of exhaustion-induced collapse.

i thought long and hard about what to abstain from for lent, and coffee seemed like a smart choice: it's definitely something i would miss, and would have to consciously think about avoiding. i don't think i quite realized the depths of my dependence until wednesday, when i experienced excrutiating headaches and tremors (no kidding. it was like 'house', without the interns.) my mom suggested gradually cutting out the caffeine; clearly i did not take that advice to heart, and have been paying for it ever since. also, i think god might be smiting me for making such an assinine decision. he generally seems to reward intelligence, and i'm pretty far removed from that line of thinking at the moment.

have had 4 cups of tea today. my body is pissed.

anyway. back to the random accrual of items on my desk:

• one package of organic creamy butternut squash soup. this is not mine. it is nadia's, who likes to taunt me with organic foods and 'live cultures' and fruits that have been dried. terror.
• a poorly constructed, child-sized wizard's hat. it is posited jauntily on my monitor, a merlinian air about it.
• the name tag of an attractive guy that attended one of our company events.
• 2 giant stalks of bamboo that threaten to impede my view of the computer monitor. i like them. it's like working in the jungle.
• half eaten cinnamon chip scone. i tried to give it away but no one wanted it. before it was half eaten, obviously.
• august 2005 issue of VOGUE. i think someone was cleaning and thought it was mine. madonna is on the cover and her skirt looks like the wonder bread package.
• apple core. because i'm too lazy to walk 30 feet to the garbage can.
• 4 boxes of blank name badges. they're incredibly old and dusty and have lost most of their adhesive backing (i know this because i put one on yesterday when a co-worker referred to me by the wrong name.) they too should be dumped along with the apple core.
• a mug containing an obscene amount of lollipops. they are my coffee patch. they may also be the reason for the teeth-itching.