brain tracks

so, just some insight into how my brain works.

i was driving into work this morning and 'the world has turned (and left me here)' by weezer came on the radio [this was preceded by mika's 'lollipop' and 'falling slowly' from once, which just won the oscar for best song, which made me ridiculously happy. it also made me cry in the car this morning. but, shut up.] so, i'm listening to the weezer and this is what my brain did, 'i like this song. i should listen to more weezer. whatever happened to my blue album? oh, right. i let ______ borrow it. and i never got it back when we broke up. annoying. i got stuck with about five collegiate a cappella albums, and he ended up with my weezer album. a cappella. percussion. melissa and i were definitely doing some body percussion at monty's this weekend, in time to some random song being played on the jukebox. some guy gave us funny looks and clearly thought we were having seizures. monty's. we never heard the songs we picked from the jukebox on saturday. i'm pretty sure one of them was by weezer. i wish i had that blue album. jackass. boys are dumb. where is my boys are dumb t-shirt? i need to do laundry. i miss the palm trees.' the end.

my brain is one giant 'choose your own adventure' story.

go away, radio.

songs that i don't want to hear in the morning:

• sweet home alabama
• freebird
• hotel california*
• anything from the inane and repetitive catalogue of third eye blind
• any song that prominently features any of the following words: snow, frosty, holidays, bells [holiday music has a place on the radio, but not before 6PM]
• anything by fergie
• anything by richard marx [he swears...he left her by the river]

* this also falls into the category, "songs that i don't want to hear...EVER"

the dip.

i realize that in the grand scheme of commuting, i have it pretty easy. with minimal traffic and non-intrusive weather conditions i can make it to work in under 14 minutes. i think that's why it's so painful and so frustrating to be stuck in the car for upwards of 40 minutes - which is what happened this morning due to some (more) snow. because of the not-so-optimal driving conditions i had the radio on, scanning for a traffic report. in the midst of my scanning i stumbled across the following - things that i can only classify as what i don't need to hear on the radio in the morning. or ever.

• freebird. being stuck in traffic is bad enough without feeling like you're stuck in traffic because you've been listening to the same song for 48 minutes.
• hotel california. radio programmers? are you listening? i appreciate the warm weather reference, but i can think of at least 4 other songs that mention 'california' that don't have me favoring a walk to work over listening to them.
• the station i normally listen to interrupted the decemberists with a run of 5 techno remixes. too. early.
• rob thomas. no. i'm not kidding. am thinking of filing a musical restraining order.
• sugar ray. i would have forgotten about him if he hadn't hosted some vh1 countdown special a few years back. but why is he still on my radio?
• OLIVIA NEWTON JOHN. i hate grease. i've always hated grease. it's the movie/musical equivalent of 'the dip' from who framed roger rabbit? - have seen the stage version too many times to count (that's what happens when you date an, ahem, "actor"...and i use those quotes for FULL effect.) that new grease reality show? hate it. so, when i hear 'hopelessly devoted to you' on my radio at 8:45 before my coffee (shut up. i know it's decaf.) i become very, very ornery.

also:
last nite while working job #2 i was talking to a coworker of mine who is constantly being asked if he's gay. if you know me, you know this: i love the gay men. (this will be addressed in a future post when i highlight the brilliance of manchattan, run by my best friend and his three friends-- until then, check out the link.) so, anyway. i was talking to this coworker who is constantly puzzled by this line of questioning. so, he asked me to make him a list of reasons why people might think he's gay. clearly, i have a penchant for making lists, so i gladly accepted the assignment. it didn't take me very long (coworker, "get back to me in an hour." me, "will have it for you in 15 minutes.") and once i gave it to him, i immediately felt guilty. would it hurt his feelings? had i been too harsh? he reassured me that he wasn't offended; in fact he agreed with most of my observations (it's had to argue with facts, such as 'favorite movie is a knight's tale.) and, besides: he owns a hello, kitty! t-shirt. methinks he brought this upon himself.

video killed the radio star (but made it possible for us to remember what he looked like)

mini-list of bands that i forgot existed until i heard them on the radio this week:

• everclear (a boy once pre-broke up with me by emailing the lyrics to one of their songs. something about a chair. it made me hate music for a long time. and email.)
• collective soul (quick. name one of their songs. HA.)
• bush (i swear to you, i totally forgot that gavin rossdale was once his own person, let alone part of a band.)
• matchbox 20 (i know. i'm radio stalked by rob thomas. he follows me from station to station -- even stations that shouldn't be playing him. and, granted, it's nice to know we have an institution to blame for his being famous. but who remembers the band? you remember rob thomas with santana. you remember him wearing a kilt to his own wedding. but you don't. remember. the band. except now that i'm thinking about it, i remember both of matchbox 20's album covers being mildly disturbing -- especially the first one, which looked like a picture of the lead singer from barenaked ladies. note: mb20 apparently released three albums. when was this?!)
• creed (methinks they're trying to forget their band ever existed as well.)
• eagle eye cherry (was it a band? was it a man? i won a free cd off the radio in 1999 and that's the one i chose. the only other one i remember being offered was, oddly enough, matchbox 20. so, in hindsight, it was wash either way.)
• barenaked ladies (they performed on letterman last week. they look exactly the same as they did 7 years ago. that's good for them. nice preservation skills.)
• sixpence none the richer (they had two hit songs that i can recall. one of them was a remake. that basically disqualifies you from having a place in musical history.)

disclaimer: i listen to this station 99% of the time and it plays none of the above, which means the above trip down memory lane happened in an extremely short and random period of time, which just goes to show that i have really bizarre radio karma. the radio gods are smirking.